nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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