nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
