also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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