I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
