What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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