Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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