he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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