so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
