her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My bed smells like the plague
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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