You smell like stripper and shame
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
