The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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