i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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