I puked a lego.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
