You're my little dorito
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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