Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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