im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
