My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
