She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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