Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
