It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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