By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
