well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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