if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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