someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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