feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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