Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
