I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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