This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
