We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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