Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
