Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She's the barista slut.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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