Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
