I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
