Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
