Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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