Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
