At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
