If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
