I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
