Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
