talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
