i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
