I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
