you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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