So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
