his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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