in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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