If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
