Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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