I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
did i walk over a car last night?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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