she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
