my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
