She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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