You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
