what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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