And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize