that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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