Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
