Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
