Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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