I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
