Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize