I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
