I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
