I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
