you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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