her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
