kristin has been a bad kristin
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
