You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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