Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she told me i tasted like america
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
