Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
