I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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