jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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