I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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