So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize