Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
