Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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